Review From the Vault: Howard the Duck

Hello guys, as you know the original page, Flemming on Film got deleted, so until I get the necessary bandwidth I cannot archive all of my past reviews. (We can't all be Roger Fucking Ebert). So every Friday I will treat ya to a classic review from the Flemming Vault: Enjoy!

Howard the Duck (1986)

Every now and then a film comes out that is so awful, so unbelievably asinine, so painfully pointless, so devoid of reason, logic, skill, or an essential humanity, with absolutely no redeeming qualities that words cannot describe just how excruciating the experience of watching it is. But I reviewed Big Trouble in Little China last week, so let's move on...

Howard the Duck may be the best picture released this year so far. The main character is literally a duck (albeit a duck of a larger stature than one might normally expect. Hint: he ain't from our world...) In short our fine feathered protagonist is absolutely charming. He looks adorable, and I fell in love with him the moment they showed him on screen. Love the Duck. Once they sold me on Howard, the rest was was pure movie magic.

The film had it all: Ducks, Explosions, Hot Women, Ancient Evil, Rock and Roll, Outer space, etc. My favorite part of the film had to be when Howard and the female lead almost have sex. I am normally against inter-species relationships, but I think it is a testament to the deft hand of the filmmakers that I was able to toss aside my preconceived notions of love and I found myself not only rooting for Howard, but slightly engorged as well!

Another highlight was Principal Rooney. He's the kind of guy you love to hate. I was very confused as to what he was supposed to be in this movie, but I love his performance nonetheless. The guy is creepy. He seems like a child molester or something, although we all know that is due to his skill as a serious actor.

Anyway, I have heard whispers of a sequel and I don't think I will be the only one waiting anxiously for Howard the Duck 2: Return to Planet Duck (Note: I came up with this title, nothing is official yet...just my own little suggestion...)

-5 Flems, the absolute highest score achievable