Hello my dearly devoted readers. Allow me to introduce myself, as it has become obvious that Mr. Flemming does not have the courtesy, nor the respect, to do so for me. My name is Winston Halesworth, and I have been hired to review movies from time to time for this web log. Keep in mind that I only get the chance to make it to the movies once a month when my community group takes us all down to the Regal the third Saturday of every month. The first Saturday of every month is reserved for our trip to the Bowl 'n Sip, the second saturday is reserved for our trip to the Middletown Strip Mall (love it), and the fourth Saturday is reserved for our trip to the park where I fancy feeding pidgeons. Sometimes there are five Saturdays in the month, and that is when we meet in the community center and sit around a table full of delicious pastries and stare at each other in silence. But I digress. You want to hear about movies. And movies you shall hear about. This week: Space Chimps. 
First off - let me start by saying that Space Chimps was not our first choice. Frederick (head of the Middletown Senior Citizen Committee) was supposed to reserve 20 tickets for the new Kevin Costner blockbuster Swing Vote, but thought that it was a documentary about the 2000 Presidential election. So instead he bought 20 tickets to Space Chimps. You can imagine 20 seniors' confusion when he handed us all tickets that said, "Space Chimps" on it. What the hell is a Space Chimp anyway? Space Chimps.
Anyway - the movie stunk big time. It was a combination of robots and computer robots to make it seem like monkeys were actually astronauts, if that makes sense to any of you (didn't for me). The strangest part? The monkey spoke. That's right, they spoke through the entire movie. English. The monkeys spoke English through the entire movie. Are you following me? 
The computer monkey robots spoke Eng---listen, it's not even worth my time to try explaining this to you. It just doesn't make sense from the very beginning and it leaves a bad taste in your mouth for the remainder of the picture. Not to mention the scene where a disco ball inexplicably drops from their space ship and the monekys all start dancing to the tune of "Staying Alive". I would avoid this at all costs. I've seen garbage in my day, but this really takes the cake. The garbage cake that is. 1 Flem.
1 comment:
"The strangest part? The monkey spoke. That's right, they spoke through the entire movie. English. The monkeys spoke English through the entire movie. Are you following me?"
Hey Dick, maybe I can help you.
You see, there isn't really any such thing as talking robotic chimp astronauts.
It'a all make believe.
However I certainly understand your confusion as the film was aimed at a more mature audience.
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